As she prepares for her upcoming wedding, Gwyneth Paltrow is opening up about her emotionally mature relationship with American Horror Story producer Brad Falchuk, and she is admitting that she has struggled with romantic insecurity throughout her entire dating life. Has she finally figured out how a relationship can stay strong and last?
The Goop founder recently sat down with Esther Perel from the Sunday Times, and during their conversation, Paltrow said that nearly everyone she knows has managed to keep the spark alive in their unions, except her. She is the only one in her life that is divorced, and it took her a long time to realize that divorce isn’t a failure.
After ten years of marriage, Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin split back in 2014, a decision they called a “conscious uncoupling,” but the couple remains friends as they co-parent their two kids, Apple, 13, and Moses, 12.
Thank you @mrrpmurphy for the most incredible evening to celebrate our ❤️. There will never be adequate words to express our gratitude. @giambattistavalliparis I will never get over my gorgeous dress. @georgieeisdell thank you. @hairbylorenzomartin thank you. @teamsaltzman thank you. Thank you to all of our amazing true and dear friends who came to support us. We feel like the luckiest people on the planet because we have all of you in our lives. And most of all thank you @bradfalchuk for the true happiness.
“In the past, I’ve been in relationships with men who had intimacy issues, so I could be, like, ‘I’m fine, I’m ready to do this,’ and let myself think he’s the one with the problem,” she explained. “In a way, some of the relationships were designed to keep me out of intimacy.”
Before her marriage to Martin, Paltrow had a failed engagement to Brad Pitt and an on-again, off-again relationship with Ben Affleck that lasted three years.
The 45-year-old says that now, for the first time, she feels like she is in an adult relationship that can sometimes be uncomfortable because Falchuk demands a level of communication and intimacy that no one has ever held her to before. Paltrow says that in the first couple years of their relationship, it came up that she was incapable in that realm and she realized how much she feared intimacy and communication.
She went on to say that if you were to look at life as a pie chart, it is the romantic slice “where all the s**t comes out.” The Shakespeare in Love actress says that she has always felt like she is a good friend, mother, daughter, sister, boss, and coworker, but when it came to the romantic slice, she was the most broken.
Paltrow admitted that she had two typical types of relationships – one where she was constantly chasing and trying to win a guy over, and then one where her man’s capacity for the relationship put her off. She says those relationships were short-lived. She also says that a lot of the time she wasn’t particularly in love with the person, and it was more about why they didn’t like her and what was wrong with her.
She thinks that part of her desire to overachieve comes from that pattern, and Paltrow added that she often feels she has to be extra-good at something to be worth anything.
But now, she has found the right relationship with Falchuk – who she met on the set of Glee – and the couple announced in January that they are engaged.
And, this past weekend, Gwyneth Paltrow shared a photo from her star-studded bridal luncheon where the bride-to-be appeared to be extremely happy while she wore a pair of lace underwear on her head.