Source: businessinsider.com
It sounds like the dancing competition has played a pretty big role in her love life! As you know, Nikki Bella found her fiance and father of her yet to be born child on Dancing with the Stars but, as it turns out, that was not all!
In her new memoir, Nikki reveals that her time on DWTS really helped her ‘wake up’ from her really unhappy relationship with John Cena.
That being said, it eventually led to her realizing she should end things with him.
‘I have many regrets about that relationship,’ the pregnant star writes in her joint tell-all with sister Brie.
She goes on to get candid about her father leaving them at age 15 and how the issues that she developed as a result really affected her romance with John Cena.
According to her, it took her gig on Dancing with the Stars, where she also met her fiance, Artem Chigventsev, to finally realize some things!
‘I wish I had understood how the patterns of my life, and relationship with my father, informed how I reacted to love, boundaries, and to feelings of abandonment. I think I could’ve averted some of what happened.’
Nikki writes that she really felt ‘almost pathologically lonely’ while still dating John.
‘I just did not know how to identify the emotion. And I certainly did not know how to ask for what I needed. I was operating from a place of fear of losing something that I wanted (my ex), but I also wanted to be perfect for him because I wanted him to have a perfect life.’
She explains how she really wanted to have a place in his ‘very busy and big life’ which unfortunately came with her not being able to voice her own wishes and needs.
Nikki apparently ‘stuffed my desire for marriage and kids as deep as I could…While I wanted those things very badly—I just wanted him more.’
As for the reason why she had a revelation while on DWTS, it was that she was able to live alone for a while.
The producers got her an apartment in L.A. for 11 weeks for production purposes.
It turns out that she loved being all by herself again and doing whatever she wanted.
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