Former Counting On star Jill Duggar recently decided to give her married female fans some sex and marriage advice, and it hasn’t gone over very well. No one asked for sex advice from someone who didn’t get kissed until her wedding day. The fact that Duggar talked about sex isn’t the problem, it’s her antiquated view of the subject.
In a post on the Dillard Family Blog titled “More Than Sex: How To Love Your Husband,” Duggar told fans that they should be having sex three to four times a week – and she also warned against masturbation. But what has really irritated many is that Duggar’s advice seems to be all about pleasing Duggar’s husband, Derick Dillard, and has nothing to do with her needs or desires.
While the comments on the family blog are overwhelmingly positive, it’s when Jill posted it on her Instagram page that things took a negative turn.
“It seems very unhealthy to me that some women are taught that sex is about a man’s needs. Women love sex too, women have fantasies and desires just as much as men,” wrote a follower. “Are they taught about how to please their wife sexually? I’m guessing no. When sex is prioritized according to the man’s needs it instantly becomes about power and dominance. Not being equal.”
Jill took the time to respond to that comment, writing “Never said I don’t love sex.” She added that she enjoys the act because God created it, and both husband and wife are supposed to enjoy it.
Of course, this response didn’t help because it made it obvious that Jill only advocates straight, married people having sex. Apparently, everyone else is supposed to avoid sexual activity completely.
The 28-year-old’s views are very similar to what her mom, Michelle, said on The Today Show back in 2014. The Duggar matriarch said that in a marriage, there are times when a wife is exhausted at the end of the day, but when the husband comes home, he is looking forward to spending time together.
Michelle said that a wife should always “be available” because anyone can fix a man lunch, but there is only one person who can meet his physical needs. Therefore, a wife should always “be available when he calls.”
While the dominant/submissive view of sex is popular in the BDSM community, it doesn’t line up with modern views of the topic. One fan wrote that they didn’t realize we were living in the 1950s, and another added that Jill Duggar’s advice is how people end up with “19 kids and counting.”
New episodes of Counting On will return to TLC later this year.