Caitlyn Jenner was not always an icon of self-acceptance and bravery. As it turns out, the transgender woman contemplated suicide before she finally transitioned.
In her new tell-all book, The Secrets of My Life, the conservative reality star opened up about her longtime battle with her inner woman.
Jenner revealed that she even thought about taking her own life.
In 2013, Caitlyn, who at the time was known as Bruce decided to get a tracheal shave procedure, meant to decrease the size of her Adam’s apple.
This was the first step she took towards her transition.
Even though Caitlyn did her best to keep it a secret, the paparazzi were still able to catch her leaving a clinic with bandages around her neck.
Afterward, she got a call from a journalist asking questions she was not ready to answer.
Caitlyn begged them not to publish anything about Bruce that could “ruin lives” and explained that not even her kids knew.
During the phone call, Caitlyn was aware the person couldn’t care less about her pleads and she panicked.
That night she couldn’t sleep thinking about the implications of the article that was about to be published in a few hours.
“You keep a gun in the house. Why not use it? Just get it over with,” Caitlyn remembers thinking.
She then thought about the kids to whom she was yet to explain about her gender issues. “Now they are going to see some story that humiliates them and humiliates me.”
The gun seemed the only way out of it, but after managing to fall asleep for a few hours, Caitlyn realized suicide was in no way a solution.
Sadly though, many transgender men and women have taken their own lives after struggling to come to terms with who they are or deal with the way they are viewed and treated by others.