On the latest episode of Total Bellas, Nikki Bella is shown being more torn than ever about her wedding. Despite the fact that she managed to change John Cena’s mind on having children, as the big day approached more and more, she realized that there is still a lot more that bothers her as far as their relationship is concerned.
Just weeks before her wedding was supposed to take place, Nikki shared during a therapy session that ‘I’m all sorts of messed up. It’s like a hot mess over here.’
At first, she only needed help figuring out who should be the one waling her down the aisle.
But as she went through everything that affected her mentally and emotionally during the session, she also admitted that she was really worried about losing her personal identity after the marriage.
‘I want him to live the life he wants and I think that’s why I have always sacrificed for him. love taking care of people, but I think I am so over pleasing. I think that it makes me feel like I’m going to be forever a wife, someone’s wife. Like, I’m not going to be Nicole or Nikki,’ she addressed.
From her point of view, it was already affecting her career as she felt like she was only recognized as ‘John’s fiancée.’
‘Some of me is like, ‘Why did I want marriage so bad? Why am I even doing this?’ I don’t know how much longer I can go without actually having a big meltdown,’ she explained.
In the end, she concluded that she still wanted to do some ‘soul-searching’ even if her worries could be attributed to just pre-wedding jitters.